Learning to be successful is not easy. Many people think that becoming successful will make them happy and give them the life that they want. However, many people don’t understand what it truly takes to get there and once there the toll it will take on them. Success comes with a price, and a cost that many people don’t look at or care to look at. Those that truly become successful have paid the price, and for each person it will be slightly different what that price is. On the mental side some of the costs associated with success are making sacrifices such as sleeping or training when you would rather be hanging out with friends, or learning to stand alone. This last one is the topic I want to talk about today.
Chasing your dreams can be very lonely at times, because you usually have to travel along the path less taken or create your own path. Psychologically it can be very hard especially at a young age to stand alone and go in a direction not many people care to go down or understand. You will get questions, looks and people will talk about your decisions because they don’t understand them themselves. We all need to feel support as we chase our dreams and sometimes the support we need might not be in the way we think because those around us are not sure of how to give it. And until you reach a certain level and start to become surrounded by others who are like you, you will feel different and question at times what you are doing.
I remember having this feeling very often, and even to this day at times I can still feel it. Everything I have ever done is usual choosing the unknown path, and it definitely creates a separation from me and the people in my life. I am fortunate now where there are people in my life who share some of the same aspirations and dreams, and so I don’t feel so out of the norm, but there have been many times where I have had to make sacrifices that others don’t understand for the benefit of me and what I want.
There was a weekend in college that my team had off, and most of my team decided to play in a 3 on 3 tournament, I remember struggling with making the decision of whether to go or not. I remember worrying about missing out on the fun and the bonding that was going to happen with those that went, but it was also middle of the season, and I was tired, and knew I needed to rest for the final stretch of the season. I decided not to go and play the 3 on 3 tournament and instead went home to visit my family and rest. It was the best decision, I came out of that break and had probably one of the best stretches of my career that lead to me being recognized as one of the top female athletes in all of Canada. However, I remember when the girls on my team got back, and all they talked about was the tournament and had all these inside jokes. It was extremely hard, it made me feel left out and alone.
Reaching success is not without its costs, and sometimes feeling disconnected from those around you. It also places a great deal of stress on the mind and needing to push yourself into unknown territory. It is those that can do this and deal with the costs and the feelings associated with it that usually get where they want to go.